you're like a bully in the Christmas story
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
