Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
