sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
