I got chris browned last night
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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