I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
