So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
