Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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