So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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