i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
