The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i will never coherently bang her
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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