She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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