Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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