he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
