So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
