woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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