I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
