I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
