I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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