the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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