I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
