Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
