I just made out with a guy for $7.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The power of my boobs compel you
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
