Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
