It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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