guys are not supposed to queef...right?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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