i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
