I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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