So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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