Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
