I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
