I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
