11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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