drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
