Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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