she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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