I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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