Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
