While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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