counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
