i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
