ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
