Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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