Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
