he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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