I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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