she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
