you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
