i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I want her autograph on my taint
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
