We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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