I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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