In the future we'll all be gay
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
